When I was in 5th grade I had a pair of officially-licensed, Punky Brewster high tops. I liked them a lot. I liked the show a lot. I liked them right up until the first day of school.
It was made abundantly clear to me via my middle school peers that I was probably some kind of loser-freak for wearing such dumb shoes.
These are the shoes. Well, these are a pair of the shoes that somebody else was selling on e-bay. Mine were newer when they were...new. These are pretty beat-up. Mine were rad. Tubular, even.
Well, they were to me at the time.
I may not have had the best taste in clothes.
I'm pretty sure this was the same year I wore that Roger Rabbit sweatshirt everywhere.
Look, I was a nerd.
I still am.
I have a Cthulhu t-shirt and the matching slippers now.
I make steampunk costumes.
I am into just about every fantasy, science fiction, or horror thing that is out there.
And yes, I will proudly wear the shoes.
But it is easier now.
I used to get teased relentlessly for my little fan-girl obsessions. Now, the type of kids who picked on me when I was in middle school, are the same kids sporting fake "nerd glasses" and pretending to know who Spock is.
And I have mixed feelings about that.
On the one hand, I want to yell, "You aren't a real nerd! Have you ever been shoved in a locker? Huh? Have you ever had exactly 0 friends? I EARNED my nerd stripes, baby. I suffered for them."
But then again...I'm a parent now. And here's something I've discovered. Nerd+Nerd= Nerdling.
Yes, my kid is a nerd.
And although the kids at school don't always understand her Sergeant Frog armbands, or know who she was for Halloween (Ahsoka Tano) she gets FAR less crap for this than I did. And when someone DOES make fun of her Dr. Who shirt, she just brushes it off and keeps on wearing it. She loves what she loves, and that's it.
I did too. In 5th grade.
After that year, I had had enough of being picked on every day. I began to hide who I really was. I would only talk about the things I loved if someone mentioned loving them first. I became a closet nerd. My sense of self-worth was somewhat tainted by the notion that everything I loved was inherently stupid or worthless. I tried to dress like everyone else. It wasn't enough. You can take the nerd out of the Punky Brewster high-tops, but you can't make her date the captain of the football team. So yeah. I would often get picked on. I mean, I was still awkward. I was still president of the French Club and vice-president of the Thespian Club. Heck, just being IN the "Lesbian Club" was enough to get you teased. (Yes. Thespian rhymes with lesbian. You bullies are sooooo clever.)
So, I thought I would always be sort of an outcast. But then, seemingly overnight, all of the stuff I love is cool.
When did this happen? Was it the rise of the superhero blockbuster movies? Lord of the Rings? Big Bang Theory? Glee? All of these things?
Who cares? My daughter gets to live in a world where she can love Star Wars, Star Trek, anime, Dr. Who, Firefly, steampunk, LOTR, Spiderman, Batman, Cthulhu, and particle physics. And MOST of the time, that's ok with people. Sure, there are still bullies. But there are anti-bullying days. There are comicons where she can see that there are plenty of other people out there, just like her. There are geeky parents who tell her "To hell with the jerks. Do what you love."
And there are the nerd-wannabes.
So sure, a part of me wants to go all hipster on them. "I was a nerd before it was cool."
But you know, what? They are just kids. They want to fit in. Right now, this is the fashion. Really, those of us who are naturally geeky should be flattered. We don't even have to try.
So it's a nicer time to be weird, I think.
I, for one, am no longer hiding.
And it's nicer out here in the fresh air.
